I just got back from Australia 10 days ago and the experience still lingers in my mind.  Being an “animal science graduate” I just loved watching the amazing animals.  The Koalas were sweet, adorable as one might expect, while the Fairy Penguins were somewhat comical as they waddled up the beach in their neatly starched tuxedos in  the dusky moonlight.  Even the stick insects, yes stick insects, were incredibly interesting creatures with camouflage so perfect you would never spot them unless someone  pointed them out.  They really look just like a twig.
But, I have to admit, the Kangaroos were the best!  A group of males I observed were playful and aggressive; pushing each other in the chest and literally boxing.  These were not trained Kangaroos, they were wild, but enclosed in captivity.  When one would push, the other would push back. ( see video below that my husband Carlos took – we spent a 1/2 hour watching them…I couldn’t drag him away!)

I’ve seen this same kind of  “push back” behavior among managers and their  peers;  in hotels, in hospitals and on leadership teams in general.  Not in the physical sense, but in conversations or during meetings.  The concept of “pushing back” when you don’t agree is sometimes  necessary when stakes are high and the outcome is critical.  But as is true with most personal traits, when taken to the extreme, it can become aggressive and cause others to shut down, become frustrated and potentially lose respect.  Knowing how to balance your strength and power as a leader is extremely important and having an awareness of how to “pick your battles” is key.  It is not necessary to go to the mat on every issue.  Next time you have a strong opinion and the urge to push back, consider your response before speaking.  Separate yourself from your emotions and take a moment to listen to the other person. Try to hear what they are saying.   Ask yourself what the real goal is?  Is my approach going to be successful with this person?  Is there a better approach?  Just taking the time to think things through before speaking can be very beneficial.  Give it a try and see what happens!

Tags: conflict, emotions, hospitals, hotels, Kangaroos, listen, managers, push back, strength

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 24th, 2010 at 12:36 am and is filed under Coaching, Leadership. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.